Cruel and kind, stern but sympathetic, exhausted but involved. You have to dig DEEP on a daily basis to be a parent. To the bottom of the reserves, and then a little deeper.
Hark at her. Funny little watermelon.
My wee bairn turned 5 on the weekend, and try as I might to keep a lid on things, he still spiralled into an abyss of presents and want. Its a strange thing, want. One can have all the possessions under the sun, and still be thinking of how to acquire more. As a parent, you want to give your child everything they need, but at the same time, know that what they need most is to play outside, and find fun and a story in every day activities.
Try and avoid looking at those fingernails and hands, that way lies madness.
I wanted to stay and be with my children every second of every day, but I am MUCH calmer and less shouty when I have some time in the day that is dedicated to work (design.) Some quiet and coffee and calm. That’s what I need.
I feel this yearning need to protect my children from everything horrible in the world, act as a shield. This is obviously not going to work, and so I need to suck it up and let them go, watching proudly, or tiredly on as they make their own little way in the world. Protecting them from as much as possible, whilst also letting them make mistakes and get into trouble. Each mistake is another milestone into learning about how to grow into the kind and thoughtful individual I hope them to one day be.
Anyway, this is just one over emotional and tired mothers view on her babies vs the world and my daily struggle with being EVERYTHING they need me to be.
FIVE. Gah, how did that happen.x